after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
