I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
