I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize