I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
