I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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