I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
