Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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