there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
