Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
