In the future we'll all be gay
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
