i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
