We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
