Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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