Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
