First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
