yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
