He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
