My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
