Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
