they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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