Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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