If i come over, it means nothing
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
