one two three fourrrrnication!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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