i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
