Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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