he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
