Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize