RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
