Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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