I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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