Umm I'm too high to move.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
