Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
She said her name was "party"
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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