How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
At least life still wants to fuck me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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