I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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