Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
