i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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