I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
