OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think people are normalizing furries
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
