You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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