why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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