I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
