It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
