yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
