How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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