He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize