I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just want to make out with him forever
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
