i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
