Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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