he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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