Fuck appropriateness.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize