First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
