Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
