she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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