His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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