You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
