My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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