I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
sarcasm needs its own font
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
