And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize