He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
