He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
