I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize