I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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