Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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