Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
