That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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