Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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