dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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