I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
