I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
