Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
