you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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