I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
