She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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