She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize