I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
