I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
