she was so not down for the gang bang
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
