Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
