she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
