Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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