We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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