so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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