She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
