he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
