i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
