I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
